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I’m perturbed. I’ve read an article by the Financial Times journalist, Lucy Kellaway. The teaser – “I’ve done everything humanly possible to change who I am – but it’s been a total flop”.

She reaches this conclusion because she returned to her parents’ beliefs and profession, which she had tried to escape by becoming a financial journalist. One reader commented, the “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” as now a grey-haired teacher, Kellaway emulates her mum.

I notice my discomfort comes from the fact that I left the world of financial analysis to become a coach. If who we are can’t change was this a waste of time?

I believe, both from personal experience, and from witnessing my clients and others, that people can change. Indeed, some have transformed themselves like the butterfly that can’t go back into the chrysalis.

This takes commitment, willingness and readiness.

I believe that the nature vs. nurture argument has been shown to be much more nuanced by advances in neuroscience and the understanding of our brain’s neuroplasticity and epigenetics.

Questions for reflection:

  • What is your experience?
  • Have you reinvented yourself or followed a trajectory that is different from that expected from your family circumstances?
  • Would you like to explore if you are ready, willing and committed to change, and even more deeply to transformation?


Contact me or call +44 (0) 7952 068133 and let’s have a conversation about what is important to you and how you can challenge your ‘destiny’.


Your Body is Your Brain (2019) Amanda Blake, Embright

The Biology of Belief (2015) Bruce H. Lipton, Hay House UK

Can you change yourself? (2021) Lucy Kellaway, FT Weekend

The Neuroscience of Leadership (2006) David Rock and Jeffrey Schwartz, strategy + business

Photo source: Suzanne D. Williams on


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