The other ‘C’ word

By August 21, 2013Learnings

When we are learning something new we usually make mistakes. It comes with the territory. Instead of beating ourselves up for not getting it right or taking too long to get up to speed a much more productive approach is to have compassion. In this case it’s self-compassion.

Also when we are in conflict with others we tend to “make them wrong”, view them as “stupid” or “incompetent”. If we have compassion for the other person and his or her perspective then our interactions are likely to be more effective. If we take the time to consider what is it that they care about or what are their concerns then we are enabled to bridge the gap between our apparently opposing positions.

If the other person feels that you are taking the time to listen and consider their perspective then they are likely to be more tolerant and more disposed to walk you through their perspective rather than simply dismiss you as a blockhead or naysayer.

If you “walk a mile in their moccasins” you may not necessarily reach the same conclusion, however, you are likely to be more open to nuances and different perspectives and less likely to encounter resistance from them.

Whether it’s in the workplace or your family setting compassion is a great starting point.

Resources:
Daring Greatly How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (2012) Brene Brown. See also the link to her TED talk on my Recommended page.
Start Where You Are (2003) Pema Chodrun (book, CD, inspirational cards in The Compassion Box)
Hostage at The Table, How Leaders can overcome Conflict, Influence Others, and Raise Performance (2006) George Kohlrieser

I invite you to reply to me below or call me to discuss on UK +44 (0) 20 7226 3611 or +44 (0) 7952 068133

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